Anhedonia

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People apparently find it therapeutic to share online... but I have such pronounced social anxiety that I see no distinction between online sharing and airing your problems to a crowd in meat-space. I have no illusion-of-anonymity that is so prevalent online. I treat my online self the same as IRL. In other words.... I don't know what I'm doing currently writing this. Perhaps it's purely cathartic.

My way of dealing with people has long been governed by two rules:

1.) "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" and
2.) "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt." 

This approach has rendered me very taciturn. Besides that... much of the time... people seem to not know what I'm talking about. I don't mean to come across as a know-it-all, but I do like to learn and share knowledge and I have a big vocabulary. I mean no offense, but I am afraid people may take it as such. I'd rather not risk it. Consequently, I have few peers.

I have issues with anhedonia... not being able to derive pleasure or a feeling of accomplishment from things that once were fulfilling. Mostly gaming and programming, I still buy games in an attempt to find something that will elicit some interest or satisfaction, but those feelings are so dulled I often feel like it's a waste of resources. I make notes in my extensive design documents of game ideas to program, but I just don't feel motivated to actually work on them. It has much to do with my desire not to consume time wrongly.

All those games I mentioned last post... yeah. Got all of them. That was over a year ago. I got most of them on sale. Also, Graveyard Keeper is pretty good. Pine was disappointing. 

Oh, and the FIBER got installed. Very nice. 

Still at the returns department. Kinda hate it.

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